Tag Archives: procrastination

From the Dreaded One’s Desk: the Demon of Procrastination

ardythava3“Gotcha!” The Dreaded Author punched the button on her evil controller and the poor unfortunate monster before her exploded in a small puff of flame.

“Um, your dreadfulness?” A minion poked its head around the side of a stack of nearby books. “I thought we were going to–”

“Not now, I’m busy slaying,” snarled the Dreaded One. “Unless you want me to slay you instead.”

“But your evilness–”

“Quiet!” The Dreaded Author leaned forward, intent on the scene before her and ready for another kill. Only everything dissolved into blackness before her.

“Arg! I hadn’t saved yet!” roared the Dreaded Author. “What’s wrong with this stupid thing?”

The minion nearby jumped back in fear, however, another minion stood up behind the blank screen in front of the Dreaded Author. “I pulled the plug, actually,” the scheduling minion said, holding up the offending object in its hand.

With a series of curses, the Dreaded One tossed the now useless controller at the scheduling minion, but it only ducked.

“I’ll flay you alive!” The Dreaded Author was in a terrible mood.

“That game is nothing but a trap,” the scheduling minion said, entirely unfazed. “One that has stolen away not only your productivity but is stifling your creativity as well.”

“Nonsense.” The Dreaded Author scowled and folded her arms. “A good friend gave me that game.”

“You mean the Demon of Procrastination?”

“Well, I–”

The scheduling minion held up a claw, forestalling any excuses. “You really don’t think he might have ulterior motive?”

“Er…”

The scheduling minion brandished his clipboard. “Now see here, you have the proofs back from your editor on your newest Calico Avenger book, which means only the art is holding up the book from getting published–art you agreed to do personally.”

“Well I was getting to it…”

“Not to mention!” The scheduling minion tapped his claws on the clipboard. “There’s those revisions to your novel you planned from attending the Darcy Patterson retreat, including a brand new ending.”

“You see, I was–”

And you have those last minute line edits from your Dreaded Brother’s proof reading to fix on Dragon Boy, which I might mention is out on submission. What if someone requests it? Those definitely need to be fixed right away!”

“Oh, fine, fine.” The Dreaded Author sighed dramatically.

“Don’t fine, fine, me,” snarled the scheduling minion. “We have five weeks’ worth of things to get done in three weeks! You’d better get started!”

“I said fine.” With a vicious snarl the Dreaded Author reached for the laptop and the pad of drawing paper. “See, I’m starting.”

“Good.” The scheduling minion marched out of the room, clipboard held high.

“Just as soon as I finish this book,” muttered the Dreaded Author pulling one off the top of the stacks of books.

The other minion dared a peek back around the stack. “Isn’t that the Japanese novel the Demon of Distraction sent you?”

“Yes.” The Dreaded Author cocked an evil eyebrow at the minion. “And if you don’t get me a nice cold smoothie and a bar of chocolate to go with it, I’ll flay you alive.” Then she settled back to enjoy her book as the minion scurried away.