Outpost House Set Up Only to be Decimated
This weekend a small section of Sylvania was removed from storage and set up in a house acquired during the move. A few select residents were hopeful their friends and family would soon join them only to be shocked when a young child arrived to play with them. Total chaos ensued as residents were stripped of their clothing and forced into outfits that didn’t fit them. Furniture was scattered everywhere and left in a pile on the floor and non-resident troll dolls were mixed interchangeably with Sylvanian residents.
“Whatever Toy Story promotes, getting played with is not something I’ve 
missed,” Grandmother Gray Rabbit complained. “I do not equate scratches, scrapes, and nakedness with love.” “My custom clothing was destroyed,” bemoaned Mr. Brown Rabbit. “These were carefully handmade items that are irreplaceable. I demand compensation.” Plans to sew new outfits are in motion, but residents fear this is far too little too late. “I don’t expect anything that equals what I’ve lost,” Mr. Brown Rabbit explained. “Especially my felt black hat.”
Not all residents were discouraged. Young Bill Gray Bear shrugged off the loss of his over stretched vest and broken overalls. “My stuff was really lousy. I was on the list for new clothes anyway. And I had fun playing.”
Prejudice Investigated in Play Terror Incident
Mrs. Maple Town Raccoon in the wake of the child’s departure has filed a discrimination suit against the owner of Sylvania. “While Maple Town residents make up a small section of the population of Slyvania, my two daughters, Matthias Mouse, and I were picked out of all of Sylvania, along with Mrs. Cat, of another brand, while only four actual Sylvanians were thrown into this situation. Obviously the owner cared less what happened to us than to other residents. This is not a privileged but a crime!”
“All four of us have been deeply scarred and scraped over the years, myself in particular,” Grandmother Gray Rabbit added. “No new or previously before unplayed with residents were subjected to this indignity! There is definitely a biased against those of us who have already been abused.”
No comment was available from the owner.
Trolls Speak Up
Four classic troll dolls and Simba from the “Lion King” were also given temporary residence in the house and joined in the play-tastrophie. However, they had a very different view on the matter. “I was always a collector’s item,” Mama Troll said. “Being played with his an honor and we all had a blast.” “We just love having our clothing taken on and off. It’s made to be taken on and off,” chorused the Pink and Purple Troll twins. “I think the Sylvania’s are making this into a far bigger deal than it is,” offered Paddy Troll. “It’s all very well for him,” responded Mr. Brown Rabbit. “His shoes are permanently attached!”
When asked to comment on the whole situation, Simba’s only thought on the matter was, “I just can’t wait to be king.”
